There are a lot of things I didn't know when I became a mom...being a stepmom is very different than having a baby you've had from birth. I love Michael as my own, but I don't have the bond with him that I do with Hanna...I'm sure some would think that makes me a horrible person, but that's just the way it is. At least I'm honest enough to admit it. I think part of the problem with Michael and I's relationship is that he is has this idea in his mind of what his Mom should be, and he won't allow me to be that person. His real Mom chooses to be in his life sporadically, like that helps him at all. I feel at times like no matter what I do it will never be good enough and the relationship between he and I will always suffer. I feel hopeless at times in that respect.
Hanna and I have a wonderful relationship....I didn't know when I became a mommy that ketchup and ranch go on everything. That french fries would become a baby food group...that her beautiful smile would like up my life. I didn't know that one cheesy little grin would take all my bad day away.
Being a Mommy is so hard but it's the most rewarding thing in the world!
