Kids and things...

So, this is what I've learned about blogging so far....I don't have time LOL! My little sweet Hanna is growing so quickly! She'll be 18 months old soon....I just can't believe it. We've started the potty training endeavor. She's very proud of herself when she potties in her little potty chair! She claps for herself, it's soooo cute. I'm very proud of her. She's full of tight squeezes and kisses. Michael is doign much better behavior wise. We got his report card. He did a great job! In one quarter he brought his overall music and PE grades up from Basic in Music to Proficient, and from Below Basic in PE to Proficient. That shows us how hard he worked to get there! Most people don't know about the struggles we've had with Michael, but this is a huge thing for him. He's started going to day care full time this week, and appears to be doing pretty well with that. I love ECDC's summer program. They do a ton of fun stuff for the older kids in the summer. They go on field trips, not just in town, but to SLC to the aquarium, the zoo, Boondocks. Best of all they have to earn them. I think Michael might be doing well enough right now that he will get to do all of them! I'm hoping as we work really hard on his social skills he will blossom as he goes into 3rd grade.

We are planning a few things this summer. We're hoping this weekend to take the kids to the Zoo and to the Air Show at Hill Air Force Base. We are also planning on multiple camping trips and fishing trips to the mountains! It will be good for all of us!

Becoming a mommy

There are a lot of things I didn't know when I became a mom...being a stepmom is very different than having a baby you've had from birth. I love Michael as my own, but I don't have the bond with him that I do with Hanna...I'm sure some would think that makes me a horrible person, but that's just the way it is. At least I'm honest enough to admit it. I think part of the problem with Michael and I's relationship is that he is has this idea in his mind of what his Mom should be, and he won't allow me to be that person. His real Mom chooses to be in his life sporadically, like that helps him at all. I feel at times like no matter what I do it will never be good enough and the relationship between he and I will always suffer. I feel hopeless at times in that respect.

Hanna and I have a wonderful relationship....I didn't know when I became a mommy that ketchup and ranch go on everything. That french fries would become a baby food group...that her beautiful smile would like up my life. I didn't know that one cheesy little grin would take all my bad day away.

Being a Mommy is so hard but it's the most rewarding thing in the world!

The blogging first

Well, I thought I'd try this whole blogging thing out. I like reading others' blogs so I thought it might be a fun way for me to get out what I want to say sometimes that I don't always feel like I can, or things I've said but would like to say again, or maybe just stuff about my family and friends as well as of course any rants or tangents I may be on for the moment!

There are several things that I think people should know about me. First and foremost, my family is the most important thing to me in life.

My husband, bless his heart, puts up with me on a daily basis. What a wonderful man! Doug and I first met in college at WWCC nearly 12 years ago, we were friends then. We didn't keep in touch but found one another again Super Bowl Sunday in 2005. What a great time that was. Our first "date" lasted nearly 12 hours! Though a large quantity of alcoholic beverages were consumed, he managed to remember me and call me the next day LOL...good job honey! I think that the thing I love the most about Doug is that I can be myself with him. I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not. He makes me happier than I've ever been in my life. He loves that I'm silly, loves that I can crack a good joke, but also let's me rant and rave and cry on his shoulder if I need to. I remember the day Doug proposed to me. Probably a week I had taken the day off because I wasn't feeling well. He had stayed home with me. We had discussed marriage and things were very serious between the two of us. That day as we were talking about it yet again, he said that he thought we should wait. He said he didn't know if he was ready and that he thought maybe we should wait til August to talk about it again. I was devastated. I went to the office to cry on my sister's shoulder. I was so upset and she was crying because I was crying. Little did I know that Doug had already bought my ring and showed it to both Mel and my sister in law Kay several days before. Mel later said that it was so hard for her not to tell me when she knew I was as upset as I was. He proposed to me that weekend. He was just tricking me so that it would be a surprise. He had set it up with the restaurant, with roses on the table and everything. It was wonderful! Fast forward to August 12, 2006....our wedding day. That was probably one of the two happiest days of my life.

Now, Doug came as a package deal. My stepson, Michael is nearly 8 now and lives with us. Michael is a child who has been through a lot. His biological mother has not been there for him and never bonded with him the way she needed to, she was too involved with her own issues. She left when Michael was very young. Michael is a wonderfully intelligent child. He loves school and his family. He told me his favorite food is hot dogs :) of course I think it's tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Michael loves to tell jokes and talk your ear off. What a great kid. Michael and I struggle a bit, I believe in part it's because he has a picture in mind of what he would like a mother to be, and I'm not her...and neither is his bio mom. I remember the day though that he decided he was going to call me mom. He went to his grandparents for a few weeks and before he left he said "when I come back I'm going to call you mom." I told him that was up to him, whatever he chose to call me, within reason...lol..was fine with me. Since that time he has always called me Mom. When the magistrate who performed our wedding asked if I took Doug and Michael in our vows I did, and always will, no matter what the problems we may face as a family are.

The second best day of my life was December 15, 2007. That was the day my sweet baby girl Hanna Grace came to our family. She came into the world after 24 hours of labor and subsequent c-section. She has been such a wonderful addition to our family. Her smile will fix a bad day for anyone I swear. It doesn't matter what kind of day I have at work, she makes it all better. What an angel she is. At 16 months old, she runs the show. We affectionately refer to her as "Hanna Bear", "Monkey face", and of course "Hurricane Hanna (which by the way hit the coast the same day she started crawling)." It's been an awesome thing to watch her grow to where she is today, feisty and happy and sweet...what a wonderful little girl.